A 31-year-old Appleton man was indicted Tuesday after allegedly pretending to be deputy with the U.S. Marshal Service. The man reportedly even told co-workers that he could find a missing person using his “heat-seeking drone”. He apparently also asked for time off from his real job for his fake deputy training and told co-workers he had a badge, handcuffs, and bulletproof glass and emergency lights on his vehicle. With that in mind…here’s Rick and Len’s ways to tell someone might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
SIGNS HE MIGHT NOT BE A REAL U.S. MARSHAL
If his badge is as tin as Roseanne’s ear…he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If the uniform he’s wearing is still sporting a tag that says “Welcome to Arby’s” …he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If he giggles every time he points out his badge number is 69…he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If the emergency lights on his vehicle look out of place, not just because they’re affixed in a haphazard fashion but also because the vehicle is 1978 AMC Pacer…he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If his only arms training was playing Duck Hunt on his old Nintendo system…he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If the “heat seeking drone” he claims to possess is really just his heat seeking moisture missile…he might not be a real U.S. Marshal.
If the cuffs he slaps on you are the furry kind…he is definitely not a real U.S. Marshal!
