Last week, state lawmakers were presented with the details on what’s called the Coal Pile Relocation and Port Expansion Bill to award a cool million and a half to Green Bay to move the coal piles away from the river front. But what to do with them? Rick and Len have some ideas. Ten of them.
WHAT TO DO WITH THE COAL PILES ON GREEN BAY’S RIVERFRONT
10. Cover the two largest piles with giant sexy bra turning it into an advertising opportunity for the Oval Office.
9. Draw Charlie Sheen back to town by telling him coal dust is black cocaine and watch it disappear in a week.
8. Just put them all in one of Tom Milbourn’s old hats.
7. Move the piles to Suamico and let Juggalo fans bury their hastily amputated fingers in them.
6. Tell the President it’s a province of Greenland called Coal-land and see if he’ll buy it.
5. Relocate the piles to the site of Green Bay’s number 3 tourist attraction, “That Place They Almost Built a Wal-Mart”.
4. Truck it to Fond du Lac where at least the urine from all the public peeing will tamp down the coal dust.
3. Stick the piles up Ted Thompson’s tight ass and in no time, you’ll have piles of diamonds.
2. If I didn’t suggest putting it Guy Zima’s pants or former Mayor Schmitt’s eyebrows there would be riots on Broadway. RIOTS!
1. Transport it to Door County where shopkeepers can sell it to vacationing FIBs to take back to Illinois and put into the Christmas stockings of their mewling, entitled and ill-mannered, mouth-breathing crotch fruit.
[Photo and details from WBAY-TV2]
