Yesterday, I rushed to the restroom here at work and, in my haste, I slammed the stall door on my finger and let out a loud “Oww!” Afterword, I began to wonder what my co-workers thought was going on on the bathroom that had me crying out in pain. So, I polled them. Here’s the results. -Rick-
WHAT RICK’S CO-WORKERS THOUGHT I YELLED “OWW” IN THE MEN’S ROOM.
26% said I was finally paying the price for eating that 5-pound block of Havarti I stole from the break room refrigerator last week.
22% said I was suffering a severe burning sensation caused by not treating a sexually transmitted disease contracted from an overly promiscuous partner or treating a wound from where the same partner kicked me with one of her hooves.
19% said I was pleasuring myself with my steel wool glove…again.
12% said I was shaving my taint with a dead man’s razor.
8% said the toilet seat probably slammed down on my head while I was bobbing for Baby Ruths.
6% said I more than likely got my tongue caught in the toilet paper dispenser. (I don’t even know how I would do that or, for that matter, how I did it last time)
4% said I was probably getting Heimliched by a co-worker while choking on a chunk of urinal cake.
3 % Said they thought I was passing a stone as jagged as Steve Buscemi’s teeth.
