TOP TEN REASONS A 13 YEAR OLD BOY WAS DRIVING ALMOST 80 MPH ON 41.

10. He was just hoping to earn his Boy Scout merit badge in felony eluding.

9. Was rushing to the Brain Store to buy his mom a Mother’s Day gift she obviously really needs.

8. Was trying to run down some real whores as practice for playing Grand Theft Auto 4.

7. Was afraid the car behind him was being driven by that teacher from St. Bernadette’s.

6. Heard NBC 26 ad telling him there was something deadly in his home and wanted to get as far away from it as possible.

5. He was just trying to get to the printers before closing to pick up his "My older brother is an honor student at Roosevelt Middle School" bumper sticker.

4. After seeing that Vanity Fair cover with the half naked Hannah Montana chick was rushing to a doctor to find out what was causing the uncomfortable lump in his pants.

3. After pitching a 5 hit/2 run victory in his little league game, received a call from the Milwaukee Brewers offering him a contract if he could get to Miller Park before the 8^th inning.

2. Was trying to get to the Sheboygan home of that woman who won a $1 bet by shooting her daughter with a BB gun just to see for himself that there actually is a mother even worse than his.

1. Hey, it was 10:30pm in Wisconsin and he was trying tog et home fast because he was uncomfortable being the only sober driver left on the road.