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It’s time to check your mailbox
or your bank account.
Some folks have started to receive their tax rebates.
$600 each is the amount.
Six hundred smackeroos
to do with as you please.
It may not be a fortune
but it’s nothing at which to sneeze.
Not everyone will get the same amount.
Some will get 1200 and some get none.
It’s really just a matter of
if you’re the wife or the husband.
What better way to help your country
and stimulate our economy
than just blowing it on something
like a big new flat screen HD-TV.
Imagine watching Larry King in High Def.
Every nook and cranny of his face will show up great.
And hopefully you’ll have enough cash left over
to get a bucket into which you can regurgitate.
So, maybe the HD-TV
isn’t the best way to spend your cash.
Perhaps you should buy a new computer.
Something, sleek and cool and fast.
Imagine all you can accomplish
while spending more time on-line.
Oh, who the hell do I think I’m kidding?
You’ll just be surfing porn until your palms are hairy and you’re eyes go blind.
So, perhaps buying a new computer
isn’t the best way to spend your stimulus check.
Perhaps the answer, for you my friend,
is in something a little less high tech.
You see, six hundred samollions
will sure buy a lot of beer.
What better way to help your country
than filling it with so much good cheer?
Of course, imagine the hangover
that comes with drinking 600 bucks of brew.
Your tongue will feel so g-damn hairy
you’ll need you’re spouse’s check to just to buy your mouth it’s own shampoo.
So, you see receiving free money from the government
is not so much a reward than it is a burden.
Spending it may seem like it should be fun
but will probably leave you hurtin’.
You don’t need that kind of pain.
You don’t need more complications in your life.
You don’t need the freakin’ government
causing you this extra strife.
But fortunately I have a solution to your problem
that really is quite ideal.
When you get your check from Uncle Sam just send it to
P.O. Box 1519
Appleton, WI…
...marked attention "Rick McNeal"!
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