THE TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOUR RICK AND LEN SHIRT.

10. If worn properly it will cover almost all your thick, matted back hair and your creepy third nipple.

9. It’s guaranteed to protect you from the advances of members of the opposite sex.

8. You’ll be surprised by how much blood it can soak up.

7. When pulled up over your head, it makes it more difficult for eyewitnesses to pick you out of a line-up.

6. While you may never see it worn by models in GQ, it has been featured prominently in Modern Hobo Monthly.

5. It’s just nice to have one item in your wardrobe that’s not blaze orange or green and gold in case you’ve got to go to a wedding or funeral.

4. It’s bullet proof. (WAPL is not responsible for injuries incurred by anyone stupid enough to test it!)

3. At the sweat shop in Nicaragua where they’re manufactured, the eight year old workers are all given a daily 10 minute smoke break.

2. You’re the envy off all the other guys at the half way house.

1. Neither of their pictures are on it.